Don’t make excuses for your parents and family.
Many non-Black PoC have been using the phrases “yes, but I’m [my family, parents, culture] don’t think that!” And “But I [my family, parents, culture] do support your causes!” I was one of them until recently. Growing up I went to a private school where the population of Black kids could be counted on one hand. Because of that I never realized the struggles they went through outside of school. As I grew up, my closest friends were Black, and though I could never understand for the life of me the struggle they went through, I did become aware of the hardships they endured. Whenever they mentioned that “(Insert Race)” were racist I would become defensive, because I feared they saw me like that as well. For the longest time I would also tell them not to generalize because my parents weren’t either…that was a lie. My parents despite being good kind people did have a hint of a racial stereotyping view. Because of their own friend groups they were able to look past their original thoughts of a person and not show any prejudice. They had somehow differentiated between Black people and their Black friends in their mind. Now I know many non-Black PoC jump to the defense of their parents, cultures, and communities when confronted by people who call them racist, and the truth is most are. Let me tell you why. My parents are first generation immigrants. They came from a country where everyone looked, acted, and dressed alike. There was just one way of life. Then they come to America, where the advertised lifestyle is of a middle class white family with the white picket fence. They come here and what of they see? The media defines anything remotely related to Black culture as “ghetto” and white people as your friendly go to neighbors. Black people are described as “thuggish” despite the fact that no one even knows what that word means. They’re seen as over zealous and violent while white people are quiet suburban and peaceful. My father moved here first and lived in a majority Black neighborhood. He was robbed and assaulted twice, and both times by a Black man, keep in mind that they are the majority. Despite the fact that two people do not make up an entire race, my father took from that coupled with the media description of Black people, and chose his outlook on race. On the news he sees that crime committed by a white man is caused by mental illness, and crime committed by a Black man is caused by the fact that black people are violent. So when I hear my Black friends try to raise awareness for the many injustices done onto them, I have to bite back my defensive words and realize that they have the RIGHT to say those statements because they are TRUE. Instead of getting defensive, our goal should be to help. To understand the privilege we do have, and accept it. To support their cause, and to not just educate ourselves but our families, our friends, our communities. Because if we don’t change our mindset and unite to help, where is our humanity. How easily we can assemble ourselves to fight attacks on our own ethnicities and religion, but can not see the attacks on another’s We do not have to compare every suffering and every struggle to one another’s. The overseas struggles of Iraq, Libya, Syria or whatever country you can think of have NOTHING to do with the struggles of Black people here in America. Do not disrespect either of their suffering by comparing and contrasting. It’s hurtful and creates nothing but animosity and turmoil. As a Non Black Person of Color I often times felt attacked when my Black friends would talk about people being racist, but in time I understood that they had that right and instead of feeling attacked and hurt I should focus my energy on helping them and supporting them in their battles against injustice. ~Anon
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