I never had a great middle school experience. I was a quiet and awkwardly shy girl who mostly stuck to reading and wouldn’t really take part in conversation. I got made fun of often and was continuously picked on during the bus ride to and from school. I wouldn’t know how to react to these insults amid the laughter and always ignored it.
I would occasionally come home crying because of this and my parents would often console me and tell me that it gets better in high school. It kind of did. In high school it got better but not really. I decided to take higher level classes and in these classes, I was surrounded by people who never really made me feel wanted. I would keep being nice and I would go out of my way for others but I only felt used. I thought i was friends with this group but it turns out they were only using me and it felt horrible. But I never stopped being nice to these people, and it does get better though. College really changed me. I learned to stick up for myself and I met a lot of nice and caring people who made me feel good about myself. It gets better. It really does. I was even approached by a few people I saw after high school who apologized to me for mistreating me. You just need to surround yourself with people who make you want to smile, not people who make you judge your friendship. And don’t feel bad when this don’t work out. Always know that in the end, you should stay a nice person, and it will work out. I promise you. It gets better.
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I was abused as a child by a close family member.
When I was younger I hated that person. The more I got to know about the sick history of my family, it turns out that the family member who abused me was also abused. I found out that sexual abuse seemed to have a viscous habit of repeating in my family. I don’t hate that person anymore. I hate the cycle. I’m going to end it now. I’ll make sure it doesn’t continue. Ever again. |
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